CHEATING HEARTS
DEAR CRABBY, I THINK MY LOVER IS CHEATING ON ME, BUT HOW CAN I KNOW FOR SURE? LOVE YOUR BLOG.
Written by: SNOOPY | 08/09 08:50PM

Snoopy, dahling:

Why are you shouting at Crabby, sweetie? Caps are for heads, not written appeals for advice. I hope you are less angry and/or panic stricken than you sound. It's very possible your lover does not have a cheating heart (or other organs), dahling. So let's try to relax a little, and Crabby will do her best to point out some of the warning signs.

First, if your gut feeling is that you are being cheated on, then there's a good chance you are. Crabby has learned to always trust her instincts, sweetie. Yes, even Crabby was once the tragic victim of a heartless dancer. I was dumped for a younger drag queen, dahling. All the warning signs were there: He was always late for our dates, and Crabby could not help but notice how frequently he was checking his watch. Then after dinner and cocktails (during which he often failed to notice my new perfume and wigs, even after I started wearing my favorite crab apple green one), he was always in a hurry to take me home, sweetie. And the sex was increasingly mechanical and quick. He would come and go in less than three minutes, and did not care if Crabby was satisfied or not. read more >>

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I could use some straight advice
Dear Crabby, I am not gay, but I am turned on by sexxy drag queens that can pass as the real deal. See, the problem is like this; I have a wife I am crazy about, but I still get turned on by the idea of chicks with dicks. Would it be wrong for me to have sex with a queen, just so I can see if it turns me on as much as I think it will? I hope I'm not being to graphic, but I just didn't know where else I could go with my little problem. My straight friends don't like gays, so I'm really putting myself on the line. What do you think I should do?
Written by: Brad | 07/21 08:13PM

Brad, dahling,

You are such a bad boy. Crabby is getting over a miserable summer cold, so you will have to forgive me if I am more crabby than usual, sweetie. You mentioned you have a wife you are crazy about. That should tell you everything you need to know, dahling. Why in the world would you want to risk losing a fabulous marriage, just so you can have a cheap thrill or two with "chicks with dicks"? I am a Stonewall queen, sweetie. So I am very old fashioned when it comes to matters of the heart. Do you honestly want to risk hurting your wife, just so you can see if you are turned on by fabulous drag queens? And what makes you think that all drag queens are willing to spread their fabulous legs for any straight man that just happens to come along, dahling?read more >>

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Cumming Out as a Slave
Dear Crabby, You may have seen my blog here (www.q-blogs.com/MyMasterMakesMe) and I am fairly open to Q Blogs about being a slave to a Master. But, in my life - work, friends, etc. I am not "out" as a slave. Most people would be shocked. My Master wants to collar me ... a nice stainless steel cable with a small lock on it (not some leather dog collar). People would instantly know I'm a slave. I'm afraid of the questions ... I want to do as my Master asks but ... what should I do?
Written by: slave a | 07/18 10:41AM

Slave, dahling,

Crabby is delighted to offer you a little fabulous advice. Although I know more about wigs and heels, than whips and chains, sweetie. It seems like you are torn between two worlds: the regular and the sublime. I know a thing or two about fantasies. After all, I am not a real woman. Just a fabulous drag queen, dahling. And when I am looking my best, the straight world is a boring blur to me. Is that how it is for you, sweetie?read more >>

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dear crabby,

thank gawd i heard about your blog. i really could use some advice. i have been a working drag queen for the last five years. last month, i lost my job, and i suspect it has A LOT to do with my recent weight gain. i admit i have let myself go. i've never been a tall gurl (5' 4" in heels), so just a few extra pounds always made me look chubby. but after a messy break up with a man i still think about every day, i started to munch on lots of junk food, while i watched all my fave soap operas on tv. i suspected i was gaining weight, but i could not stop myself. i figured it was better than drowning my sorrows in a bottle of gin, right? well, the end result is that i now weigh 299 pounds! and even though i began doing an act that was a fabulous spoof of divine (the original hairspray queen), my sadistic boss told me to take a hike. my rent is past due and they are threatening to cut off my phone service. which means i won't be able to go online! is there any hope for me? or should i just eat myself to death! do you know of any clubs that are hiring big gurls? can you please let me know? thanks.read more >>

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Looking For Love
Dear Crabby - I am a 38 year old bear who is very popular at the bear parties. The problem for me is that I am really only attracted to guys in their 20's. Twinks. I can't really explain why this is. I have had a few relationships with twinks, but they fail because I get tired of their immaturity. So...my crazy problem is that I am PHYSICALLY attracted to the twinks, but MENTALLY attracted to the bears. What can I do?
Written by: Bear4Twink | 07/01 11:17PM

Bear4Twink, dahling,

I am afraid Crabby is baffled by your question? But she still will try to offer you some fabulous advice, sweetie. I'm not all that clear on what a "twink" is? I assume you are not talking about Hostess twinkies. I know Crabby is a bit behind the times when it comes to all the current gay fads. After all, I am a Stonewall queen. However, I never heard of twinkies being used as a sex toy. I'll have to do a bit of research on that one, dahling.read more >>

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