I dont really know who to alk to about it, like i dont even want to allow myself to beleive he's actually gone. it feels so impossible that he could ever be gone. ive never been without my dad...

he always accepted any of my life choices without question. he's the best of all of us, my whole familly is nothing without him... and just waking up this morning to my mother screaming and crying for him to wake up was tough but not as tough as watching the coroner walk in and then the ambulance bring him out.

i guess its better to look at it liek he's in a better place where he wont be in constant pain anymore. where anything he wants to do can be done almost effortless.

im just totally wiped out, i'd like to write more but i can barely keep my head up.read more >>

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Alright, so my brother isnt exactly the smartest nor is he mature enough to even handle his own finances. And he just like started fighting with my mom saying many many MANY hurtful things, and i dont mean to sound dumb or anything but i'm liek an empath or whatever you wanna call it, i feel other peoples feelings and the easiest one to feel is hurt. and it hurt so much just listening to the stuff he was saying and calling his/my mother "her" and just it was horrible to listen to, and on top of that....

At dinner i was chewing pizza and liek i got a jolt from one of my teeth, the root started to show. i have like soft teeth in the back so it chips easilly and i didnt have dental insurance till recently, so liek ive just been dealing with it. But the pain right now is almost un-bearable i have to call the dentist tomorrow, im not to stoked because i havent really checked up on them befopre to see what they're like. but hey oh well i have no choice and theyre the only dentists around that'll take my insurance. So if they suck, im shit outta luck. all i know is if they say root canal (spelling?) im gonna jump up and say "give me those tooth puller outter thingers!".read more >>

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i have a new account coming up asap. its QueryAQueer. where you can ask me anything about me or ask for advice whish is something im pretty good at..... also if you have something personal that you do not wish to be posted in a blog i'll have my email up.

if all goes well i'll break away from q-blogs onto my own website. 

and i will but right now im tired, and just wanna lay down and take a nap, so i'll write later.

kira was super fun!

i miss her already, and i want so bad to go to bamboozle in nj on the 5th, because jeffree star and kelly will be there and i made a pact with caty that we'd go see jeffree star the first chance we got. so yeah we have to but i dont want my mom tagging along, i know she means well but it'd just be weird... i dont know what to do

if any of you have any ideas that wont hurt her feelings thatd be great. bc i dont want her to have to just sit in the car all day or sit in a hotel room. things are so confusing..

thanks much....

-bryan